Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
So much rum. So many feels.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
