i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
