WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
