I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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