Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize