your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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