so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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