whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
