now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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