don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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