She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
please come you make the beer taste better
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
