One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
then he tried to convert me to islam
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
