mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
