oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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