plz talk dirty to me
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
