he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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