She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Randomize
