It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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