Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
