I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
please come you make the beer taste better
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
As shirtless as possible
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
