and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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