"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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