Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
