This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Randomize
