My liver just broke up with me...
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
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