Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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