if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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