Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
