I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
