Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
