Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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