My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.