i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him