Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?