I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone