Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry Coyote87 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(619): View more from California

Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.

Fav 13 1295 1021
share tweet
(770): View more from Georgia

Tell her she's as useless as a condom.

Fav 37 1310 2789
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(719): View more from Colorado

I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.

Fav 7 1414 3175
share tweet
(443): View more from Maryland

shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy

Fav 13 3941 1413
share tweet
(502): View more from Kentucky

I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?

Fav 6 2495 1024
share tweet
(208): View more from Idaho

please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack

Fav 4 1392 2497
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(951): View more from California

I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street

Fav 7 1215 2442
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(330): View more from Ohio

Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.

Fav 1 70 13
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(252): View more from North Carolina

DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.

Fav 0 17 37
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT