a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
do nipples grow back?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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