What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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