Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize