after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
