he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
