i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
