I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
