I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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