WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
