like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
