Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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