erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
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If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
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Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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