I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
