used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
