I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
