Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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