you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
