all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
