You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
