How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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