On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
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a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
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It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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