i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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