oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize