she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
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you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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