she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
