He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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